-This story is started in New York that in America.
introduce - and There are two girls, named Julia and Shale.
-They are girls. They are best friend.
-And they are 13 years old.
story: Julia and Shale are friend. When they walk through the play ground, they heard some strange sound. and then, they saw alien! Alien was in building. That aliens's body is shiny and clear. Later, other alien is appear!
and They talk each other, and They said,"Do you know what planet is this?" and another alien said "I don't know about that.Let's ask to somebody." and they came to Julia and Shale. But They were very scared so they run away. Julia and Shale run to their house and Told the story to their parents. That is "There is alien at building! They talk to me and me and Shale. so I was very scared so we ran away!" "It was very scared!!" But their's parents didn't believe it. They said "Don't lie to us! If you think there is a alien, prove it!" So they think and find out resolution.They think hard each other that how to prove it. and Always think about how to prove it. The resolution are......
Click here for ending 1
Click here for ending 2
Click here for ending 3
Your story explains about a surprising encounter. I think the conflict in the story is a bit weak. You could have dramatized the conflict part more. For example, you could have written the part such as this: "Their parent's didn't believe it and sent Julia and Shale to mental hospital. Julia and Shale was so annoyed that their parents did not trust them." Also, you could have written the story a bit longer.
ReplyDeleteGood Job!
ReplyDeletenice picture Ashley*-*
ReplyDeletenice job, you got me carried in this blog
ReplyDeleteThank you,Park soojong,김소윤,이수민
ReplyDelete